Are you resistant to receiving help, but always helping others?

Being independent is helpful, you can manage to meet your needs and take care of yourself. But, what happens if something comes up that you are not able to manage by yourself, do you ask for help ?

Your independence may be tested as you are a new parent or taking on some caring duties for someone in your life.

Holding a caring role is not always easy. It could be that the person you are caring for struggles to ask for help, or maybe it is you that finds it hard to say “No” or is reluctant to ask for support.

I felt it may be helpful to consider some unhelpful messages and consider some alternative thinking.

Asking for help is not being weak

I understand that when you are used to doing things for yourself then asking for someone to help you might be seen as something that shows you are not capable or strong enough to deal with it on your own. However, it can be scary to acknowledge that something is too much for you to do on your own and with that I believe comes strength.

It is Ok to not be ok

Nobody can be ok 100% of the time and if you are struggling that is ok. Recognising things don’t feel ok is important so that you can support yourself in whichever way is best. For example, allowing yourself a break or asking someone to help you with something.

You do not need to do everything

I understand you are very capable and do things well, but you do not need to do everything. It could be that something can wait, that someone else can do it, or maybe it does not need to be done at all. Reviewing what we are asking of ourselves is important as it is common to expect ourselves to be able to do far more than is possible.

Saying ‘no’ is an option

I expect that you like to say ‘yes’ to things or try to help. There is an alternative when things are difficult, or you don’t want to do something there is the option of saying ‘no’ or ‘I can’t do that now’. Being overwhelmed can be caused by taking on too much, this could be because you find it hard to say no.

Taking care of yourself helps to take of others

When you run low in energy and things are feeling too much it is likely that you have not attended to your own needs. It is ok to take breaks, do things for yourself as well as looking after others. I get that sometimes this can leave you feeling guilty, but it is important to recognise that if you are running on near empty then you are not being as effective as you can be.

If you would like to create alternative thinking, rid yourself of unhelpful messages and would like to talk to someone who understands then please do get in contact,