I know what you are going to say !

I wanted to share a few thoughts on something a lot of us do …. Assume.

A picture of a crystal ball

Assumptions can become unhelpful, even paralysing. Assuming something can be feeding a worry, or perhaps it may stop us asking for support.

Assumptions can cause problems in relationships, friendships and in general.

Having outlined where assumptions are not something we want to have too much of in life, let’s consider what we can do to work through some of the day-to-day ones.

Notice them

Can you think of an assumption you have made ?

Example, “why should I ask … if they wanted to do it, they would offer”.

Try an alternative

Test out an alternative to assuming you know what the answer will be.

Example, “I was wondering if you would mind …..”

Talking it through

If this feels something you are able to do, try to explain your assumption and see if it is right.

Example, “I didn’t like to ask because I know you are always so busy, so assumed you wouldn’t have time”.

Potential answer: “I agree I am busy, but glad you have let me know let’s see what we can do”.

Sometimes assumptions can be more complex and cause worry, overwhelm and prevent you moving forward. The worry of the outcome of the assumption can leave you stuck in a situation, or relationship which is unhelpful.

Talking through problems may help to identify assumptions. There is the chance to sound out thoughts, worries, and consider approaches that feel ok to try. Whilst working with clients it can give a chance to explore thoughts and feelings. There is no pressure “to do” the opportunity to consider and share can help to reduce feelings such as worry, frustration, or disappointment.

Please do get in touch if you would like to talk through things, counsellingwithsarah0@gmail.com