Movie making …

With festive season upon us there is little you can do to avoid it ! The shops have so much to tempt you, the TV adverts are longer, the radio is playing Christmas songs, you name it – no getting away from it !!

In therapy we can talk about meaning making from situations, so I thought that I would put a little twist on this and mention some things that I noticed when watching some Christmas movies.

Christmas transitions

This year might be and feel different as something within your year has changed. It might be that you find for the first time that the ‘nest is empty’. For years you have catered for family, been in charge of having to pull it all together, but this year they aren’t here. This can be difficult to adjust to and might bring up some difficult feelings. The difficulty is as well as others around you might not understand the struggle, it might be that they think you are lucky that you don’t have to do so much. But you are aching for the family to still be together.

This was something I noticed when I watched ‘Christmas with the Kranks’ it is perhaps not one of the classic films, but it shows the feelings of the parents especially the mum when their daughter leaves. It shows the pressures from those around to hold up traditions and conform. The struggle with boundaries and saying ‘no’ is well demonstrated. It is funny in places with some good messages to take away from it.

Loneliness

Christmas can be a time for families to get together and spend ‘the perfect’ day celebrating. However, in reality you can feel lost in the crowd, not feeling heard. For Kevin in Home Alone he certainly felt misunderstood by his family.

As the title suggests though being Home Alone at Christmas can be tough, loneliness can be highlighted. It might be that you have others around you, but your relationship is struggling and it feels lonely.

Home Alone not only shows Kevin alone, comically fighting off the burglars but also the perspective of his neighbour and his loneliness.

Traumatic experiences

Christmas can also bring up traumatic experiences, it might be that you have witnessed something unpleasant during the festive season and the association can bring it to the forefront.

The Grinch, is a grumpy old green character, if he was given the chance he would like to be included but bullying from his peers for being different when he was younger made him lose his temper and go into hiding. Living outside of the village then he can shut himself off but he revisits and relives his difficult experiences when he tries to cause disruption. Having support from the right person helps him to think about how he doesn't need to be stuck and alone.

Resilience

Someone who never gives up and keeps trying is Clark Griswold with over-sized Christmas tress, extended family arriving unannounced and flying squirrels leading the chaos. Clark shows the resilience needed to survive the holiday period. It demonstrates the family dynamics and the challenges faced with managing the different generations.

Movie Making

What I think about with these Christmas movies is that it is not all perfectly trimmed trees, families calmly sitting around a table and pulling crackers. It is often about having to put in boundaries, trying not to people please, using resilience to manage difficult situations.

I think if there is anything that you can take away from this is that there is no such thing as a ‘perfect family Christmas’.