Uncertain ?

‘not able to be relied on: not knowing or definite’.

Certainty is helpful for us as human beings, it gives us a feeling of being safe as we can anticipate what to expect. This allows us to stay grounded and focused. Being uncertain can lead to confusion, bewilderment, and disorientation. This can impact on mental health through feeling stressed, anxious, and depressed

Uncertainty can be linked to anxiety this is as we are experiencing something new there will be not past experiences to draw on. Not having something to guide us through a situation can leave anxious thoughts to fill in the gaps. This may leave us feeling worried, wondering what might happen and imagining negative outcomes.

A lack of feeling in control and ability to influence a situation or outcome can leave us feeling anxious, frustrated and perhaps sad. It may also leave us feeling disappointed if things have not gone as planned. This is a natural response. When feeling overwhelmed and feeling out of control then it is important to recognise this and work through it.

Feeling uncertain can often bring people to therapy to work through their worries, feeling of being stuck, low or frustrated. I thought it might be helpful to share three things that might be looked at during therapy to help to manage uncertainty.

What can you control ?

Considering together what is in our control is helpful. For example, you can choose to take action or not, you can choose to stay or go, you can say ‘yes’ or ‘no’. I recognise that might seem straightforward, but the feelings that may be provoked around actions can be hard to navigate. This is where the therapy space can be used to hold you through considering your choices and what it might look and feel like to take action.

Staying in the ‘here and now’

Not knowing what is going to happen helps worries and stress to breed. Trying to stay focused on what is happening in the here and now. This helps to stop create scenarios and assumptions which are not helpful. Learning to be in the ‘here and now’ can help to accept the limits of what we can control and allow for being in the present.

Looking after yourself

Considering how to look after yourself and practising self-care will help to naturally reduce stress and anxiety, increasing energy and resilience to cope. Looking after yourself does involve time, but it can be built into everyday life.

If you feel that you are struggling with uncertainty and feel I can help support, you through it please do get in contact counsellingwithsarah0@counsellingwithsarah

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