I wanted to talk about how one word “acceptance” can be related to so many things and can be an important part of the counselling process. I won’t cover them all but will start with some to highlight.
Self-acceptance
Understanding and being comfortable with who you are is part of what I see as self-acceptance. Often, we can look to other people to get confirmation that we are “ok”, “doing well” and “good enough”. The experience of asking and hearing what others think can play a big influence in how we see ourselves and value ourselves.
Having worked with many people over the years who struggle with being themselves, who they want to be when they get to a point or near to the point of self-acceptance it is so lovely to see.
Being able to accept who you are and being confident in making decisions can be difficult. Often people can find they have low self-esteem which means that will question what they want which can leave them feeling stuck.
Changing paths
Life may be mapped out for you, having chosen the path you want to go down, this could be a course, career, partnership. Something comes into change this; you don’t get the grades, or the course is full, you are made redundant, you and your partner want different things.
Life changes can come all of a sudden and perhaps you knee-jerk your reaction leading you to a choice you would later question. Being able to have a health reaction to recognise this change as a potential loss and grief the loss. This does not need to be a long process but can be helpful to make sure that resentment or frustration is not stored away to reappear at another time.
Accepting and moving on
Accepting a change and moving on from it can take a little time. Being able to healthy process changes which accept the loss within a situation can help to move forward. There are times where it maybe more tricky to accept something has changed or has a major impact on our lives, in these circumstances it is important to consider the loss and bereavement this is. Allowing feelings to be felt and looking after your own needs is very important here.
Accepting and rejecting patterns
There can be patterns that are formed which can be unhelpful in how we live our lives when we struggle to accept ourselves. For example, the need to please others where you agree to something not to upset the other person, but it is not really what you would like.
It can be helpful to talk through and consider what might be behind the actions we are taking, is there something that is being avoided ? If this is the case then it might be helpful to consider do you want to just carry on as you are or would you like to reject the pattern and accept that you need to work through it.
Counselling might be something that you have had some experience of or not. If you are having trouble accepting something it can be helpful to work with me to consider what is going on for you. Please do get on contact [email protected]
